When Recovery Meetings Aren’t Enough: 5 Tips to Find What Works For You

Recovery looks different for everyone. That’s why there’s no one way to do it. Take for example AA/NA or the various recovery options out there. AA was formed in 1935 and the Big Book was written in 1939. 90 years! For 90 years recovery resources have grown to help keep people sober and build a community like no other. While this is impressive and has been life saving for some, for others not so much.

“Go to meetings, get a sponsor and do the steps”.

This simple and successful guideline has been the backbone of recovery. So, what do you do if it’s not enough? A question that comes up for many. Check out my 5 tips below.

I want to start this by saying I fully support being part of recovery groups such as AA/NA. There is a reason it’s been around for 90 years and still going strong. I like to compare the recovery world to that of the veteran community. It is a tight-knit group of people going through similar things; a community; a family. As a veteran, I know what being part of this is like. With that said, there are also many subcultures within it too. Let’s take veteran communities for example: there are Vietnam war veterans that were never truly supported by our country and have dealt with PTSD without the help that we have now. Many Vietnam vets didn’t get the help they needed when they returned and have lived life learning how to survive/cope with their internal struggles. There are pre-9/11 veterans and then of course post 9/11 veterans. There are combat veterans and non-combat veterans just to name a few. Now before I get too deep into the veteran communities, let me bring it back to my main point which is the subcultures of recovery meetings. Some of those would include people that live by The Big Book and have to attend daily meetings to maintain sobriety; those that just dip their toe in meetings and go on occasion; and those that move from group to group to find what they need. I’ve always told my clients that you need to find what works for you. What works for someone may or may not work for another. Here are my pointers on what to do if recovery meetings aren’t enough for you:

1. Ask yourself what it will take to keep you sober. You’ve got to be completely honest with yourself on this one. Do not allow “stinkin thinkin” to make excuses for you. Most of y’all have probably heard of “stinkin thinkin” but if not, what this means is that your addiction affects the way you think. Such as “I can have just a few”. “I can stop if I want to”. “I only drink on the weekend, so it’s not a big deal”. “I don’t need to go to meetings because all they do is talk about their stories”. These are thoughts that keep you from long-term sobriety. It’s important that you take your time and really think about what it will take to keep you sober. There is no shame in acknowledging what kind of help you need. If you need a group, find one or several. If you need a sponsor, try one or several until you feel it is a great fit. Whatever your need is, just keep trying.

2. Attend various groups. This may look like attending many groups to see what fits best. Do not dismiss attending recovery meetings based off one or two meetings. Examples of 12-step spirituality based groups: AA (Alcoholics Anonymous), NA (Narcotics Anonymous), CA (Cocaine Anonymous), GA (Gamblers Anonymous), Al-Anon (for families of alcoholics). Examples of Non-12-Step Programs: SMART Recovery, Celebrate Recovery, Women for Sobriety, LifeRing Secular Recovery. Links for these groups will be attached at the end of this blog.

3. Attend therapy. Yes, I will always encourage people to attend therapy. Use this space to dive into what has caused the addiction. If you don’t want to do that, attend therapy to learn how to maintain sobriety. Regardless of what your reasoning is, just try it! You may be surprised at how much relief you can feel from attending therapy. Keep in mind, you have to do the work. Therapy isn’t a fix all and I never guarantee or make promises. Therapy is hard, but can be life-changing.

4. Build your support network. Get your support involved. Support looks different for everyone, but please do not try to do this on your own. You’ve got to include your support and if you don’t have support, this is a great time to begin building your own community. Do not keep your recovery a secret. The worst thing people can do is try to keep it secret, whether it is out of fear of judgement, shame or just feel like others won’t get it. Connection is key to sobriety. Include people that will help you maintain sobriety by giving you encouragement and holding you accountable.

5. Educate, educate, educate. One of my passions is educating myself on the brain and addiction. There are many websites, YouTube channels, books, and blogs about addiction. The more you educate yourself on this topic, the more you begin to understand yourself and can educate those around you on it too. Finding out why our brains work the way they do can be empowering and can motivate you to maintain your sobriety.

I would encourage you to combine various resources to find your best fit. As you go through the above 5 tips, I encourage you to think about your why. This will look different for everyone and may change throughout your life. Sobriety is not a one-size fits all. Don’t lose hope and don’t give up! You’ve got this!

Here are links to some great resources:

Alcoholics Anonymous: www.aa.org

Narcotics Anonymous: www.narcotics.com

Cocaine Anonymous: www.ca.org

SMART Recovery: www.smartrecovery.org

Celebrate Recovery: www.celebraterecovery.com

Psychology Today to find a therapist in your area: www.psychologytoday.com

How an Addicted Brain Works: https://youtu.be/RZ5LH634W8s?feature=shared

My website for additional resources: www.anchorpointcounselingtx.com