10 Questions for your Therapist…that can be hard to ask.
Ever had questions come up, but you don’t ask because it can feel so awkward? Here are the top 10 questions and answers that come up the most in therapy. No judgment here, ask away!
What if I want to cancel our session?
Answer: Always check out your therapist’s cancellation policy. This is usually found in the consent forms that you signed when you began therapy. Most therapists, like myself, have a 24hr cancellation policy unless there is an emergency. We are human too and understand things happen, so feel free to communicate what is going on and the reason you may need to cancel. Please be mindful of the policy and don’t worry, there’s no hard feelings if you need to cancel!
2. Is it normal to feel worse after a session?
Answer: Yes! Therapy can be uncomfortable….change can be uncomfortable! Sometimes you will leave a session feeling tired, drained, sad or just numb. Please communicate this with your therapist so that we can work through it. This is part of the process and it will feel hard before it gets better. Hang in there though! Just like anything else, pain can come with growth, but it will be worth it!
3. How many sessions do I really need?
Answer: This is one of the most common questions people have. Look I get it, you are looking for solutions and you come to the professionals for help and when we don’t have a solid answer for you it can be so frustrating! Please trust the process…..this is not just a cliche saying, it’s true. There is no magic number BUT you can make a plan with your therapist that keeps both of you on track. After you and your therapist make a treatment plan with goals outlined, check in regularly to see where you are at in your journey. You can make adjustments with your plan as needed, because we all know that life happens and things come up that may throw you off track. Stick to a regular schedule with therapy and you’ll see the progress even if you have some speed bumps along the way.
4. Can I text/call/email you between sessions?
Answer: Therapists have specific policies regarding this, so please ask when you begin. I use these forms of communication as a means for scheduling/rescheduling/canceling appointments. It is important to NOT think of these forms of communication as part of therapy. I have had clients ask if they can email me talking points prior to our next session. I do have a policy that this is permissible with the understanding that I will not respond to this email. This is just one example of what a policy may look like with your therapist, so please feel free to ask.
5. What does ending therapy look like?
Answer: Therapy eventually does come to an end which is a normal part of the process. If you are feeling complete in your therapy journey, please let your therapist know. We know this is part of it and there are no hard feelings. We will review your treatment plan/goals and if you think there is nothing left to complete OR if you feel good about where you are at then this is a great thing! If you are feeling like you want a new therapist, that is okay too because we new perspectives are helpful. If your therapist brings up that we are nearing your completion of treatment, they will outline what this looks like, which can be at least 1 more session to include: processing and reviewing treatment plan/goals as well as next steps for you.
6. Can we have a shorter session today?
Answer: Of course! I get it, sometimes you just don’t feel good, have other appointments, or don’t have much to say. This is important to let your therapist know at the beginning of the session so that we can adjust the time for insurance purposes. This may happen once in a while, but if this comes up for several weeks at a time, you and your therapist can discuss what future sessions look like and adjust them accordingly. Some people like a quick 30 minute session, others prefer the full 60 minutes. Communicating your needs is important and part of the therapy process.
7. Can you tell me about your personal experiences/trauma?
Answer: You can ask your therapist these questions, however, it is important to know that we are ethically bound to NOT share details of our own experiences and trauma. This can look like your therapist answering with a yes or no to your questions, but should never go into specific detail about our own trauma. We want your session to be focused on your healing, not our own. And yes, therapist go to therapy, so that is when we talk about our own stuff. We want to build rapport and connection with you, but not make the session about us. Unfortunately, I have heard of therapists sharing way too much with their clients; if this is happening to you, please find a new therapist!
8. Can we connect on social media?
Answer: Unfortunately, we cannot be connected on social media due to our ethical rules. We do not want to blur the lines between trusted therapist and friend. While we enjoy the connection we make with our clients, it is important to keep those boundaries. Practice what we preach!
9. What happens if I see you out in a public space?
Answer: Due to our ethical rules, if we see each other out in public such as a store, gym, movies, etc, your therapist will never approach you first. If you want to come up to your therapist and say hi, you have every right to do that, or you are free to walk right past us. It is your decision, whatever feels comfortable. Again, no hard feelings if you just walk past because we know how personal therapy is.
10. What happens if I don’t agree with you?
Answer: We want you to be as honest as possible in session, even if you don’t agree with what we are saying. It can be uncomfortable, but this is a space to speak freely, even if it is disagreeing with your therapist. We all come from different backgrounds and I’ve learned so much from my clients and appreciate different view points. Therapy can be a great place to practice how to have hard conversations and I promise we won’t argue back!
