Young Adult & Parent Therapy in Allen, TX
Supporting college transitions, anxiety, emotional regulation, and shifting family roles.
Watching your kids transition into adulthood can feel overwhelming. They are stepping into their independence by making decisions, finding their identity, building confidence, and leaving home, but can struggle with feelings of anxiety, self-doubt, or fear.
At the same time, we as parents, are trying to support without overstepping, stay connected without controlling, and learn to adjust to this new relationship.
I will work with you to help strengthen emotional regulation, improve communication, and create healthy boundaries so this stage of life can be a period of growth for all.
The Unexpected Questions Adult Kids Ask Once They’re On Their Own
What if I’m not ready to live by myself?
How do I make a doctor’s appointment?
What if I don’t like my roommate?
Do I have insurance?
How do I setup my wifi?
What do I do if I get sick?
When am I supposed to go to the dentist?
How Therapy Helps During This Stage
Improves Communication
Establishes Healthy Boundaries
Reduces Anxiety around Independence
Strengthens Parent-Adult Child Relationships
Builds Emotional Regulation Skills
Learning to Let Go
Improved Communication
“Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with Integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we listen for what’s behind the words.” - Roy T. Bennett
Questions for Young Adults
How do I talk to my parents without it turning into an argument or lecture?
Why do I shut down when my parents ask questions?
Questions for Parents:
How can I communicate my concern without sounding critical?
Why does every conversation feel tense lately?
It’s hard to know where to go with these conversations. Should parents continue to ask questions that cause some obvious annoyance? Should young adults continue to shut down if they feel unheard? There is a way that both parents and their adult children can feel heard, supported, and have space to have hard conversations. Check out the video below giving more insight into this. Don’t feel like you have to tip-toe around conversations anymore!
Establish Healthy Boundaries
Healthy Boundaries = understanding what your limits are physically and emotionally AND being able to communicate this assertively and respectfully.
Healthy Boundaries ARE NOT:
Threatening or forcing someone to do what you say
Giving ultimatums
Demanding your rules must be followed
“Boundaries are not walls. They are bridges to healthier relationships”
Healthy Boundaries ARE:
Keeping yourself safe mentally, emotionally and physically by removing yourself from a situation or ending a conversation when necessary.
Saying no or yes when needed
Understanding your limits
I often get asked in session, “why don’t they respect my boundaries?” or “I told them my boundaries and they didn’t listen to me”. The key is to understand what boundaries are and why they are important. Boundaries are for your own safety, not necessarily to get someone to do what you want or say. Boundaries can be a trigger point between adult children and their parents because the children are trying to establish their independence, yet still depend on their parents. So what does this look like? Phone calls/texts may look different. Checking in with they are out may look different. Don’t panic if things begin to change, but also don’t feel like you need to tip-toe around your adult child. Whatever the case is, communicating boundaries between everyone will set you up for a great relationship. It’s important to have a conversation before your adult child leaves for college or moves out. It’s also important to talk about how you feel about them leaving. It’s ok to say you’ll be sad when they leave or to share how excited you are for this next chapter. Start this open conversation now and you’ll see your relationship grow.
Learning To Let Go…..
Show Your Emotions: Yes, parents, it’s ok if you cry when you move your child into a dorm, apartment or even when they come and go each semester. Some of you may have children going into the military and that is scary too. Whatever this next adventure brings them, it’s also a new adventure for you as parents. I have always cherished the time when my kids came back home for the weekend, we visited them at school, or having them home over the holidays or summer break. I also cherish seeing them spread their wings and embrace life fully. Share your excitement and your sadness! This gives them the freedom to show theirs too.
Embracing Failure: One of the most important lessons we can give our children is teaching them how to embrace failure. Hear me out…..they are not failures and of course we don’t wish this on our kids, but we all know life will happen and failure comes with success. It’s hard watching them struggle, but sometimes it’s a necessary thing that helps us become successful adults. They will make mistakes but with your support, they will also be able to pick themselves back up. You may want to swoop in and fix it for them, and there may be times this is needed, but it’s important to show them that you BELIEVE IN THEM. When I was able to show my kids that I believe in them, no matter the mistake, they picked themselves up, brushed themselves off and continued working hard towards their goal.
Create a Safe Space: Creating a safe space, emotionally and physically is a foundation that your adult child needs in order to be fully themselves, mistakes and all. When an adult child knows they will always have a safe space with you, they will want to come back and share with you. I speak from experience when I say that when your kids feel safe, they open up and want to spend time with you. This is a great time to talk about expectations. Is it expected they come home on certain weekends, holidays, or the summer? Is it expected they share details of their life with you? Therapy can help with this and we can create a plan together!